Where are you, Christmas?

As I have mentioned time and again, I enjoy lists. I like counting down the top five, ten or one hundred of something...anything, really.

I also really like The Sound of Music. Great story, fantastic music, and the best clothing made out of drapes you will find anywhere.

So in the spirit of these two seemingly unrelated topics, and in honour of the upcoming holiday season (because I am snowed in this weekend and have Christmas on my mind), I give this gift to you, gentle readers: these are a few of my favourite things...presented as a list of my top five favourite Christmas movies.

A Christmas Carol
I would be remiss if I were to leave this off the list, but it is, in fact, one of my favourite movies. Of the more than 30 versions of this timeless classic, my preference is the black-and-white version from 1938 starring Reginald Owen as Ebenezer Scrooge. It's one of those movies that was on TV when I was a kid, and was the first version I had ever seen. I taped it and watched it until the tape died, and it still remains my favourite to this day, and the gold standard to which I compare all other versions. You have NO idea how excited I was to find it on DVD last year, even if it was the colourized version.

Most Memorable Scene: Bob Cratchit, while engaging in a lighthearted snowball fight with the local children, accidently hits his boss in the head with a snowball, thus leading to his termination. You just feel so bad for the poor shmuck. *sigh*

A Muppet Christmas Carol

In all fairness, as much as I do love this movie, it is really my second choice for a Muppet Christmas flick. The original version of A Muppet Family Christmas was, hands down, THE best Muppet movie ever made. However, because of licensing issues with the songs (I think), the re-released version has been edited like you wouldn't believe, so most of the content makes no sense. Hence the reason I discuss this movie, which features Michael Caine as Scrooge, alongside Kermit (Bob Cratchit), Miss Piggy (Emily Cratchit), Fozzie Bear (Fozziwig), Statler and Waldorf (the Marley brothers) and Gonzo (the narrator...not an original Dickens' character, FYI...he just has a really good agent who gets him roles no matter what). Of course, any time you bring those fuzzy creatures in, you know it's going to be funny.

Most Memorable Scene: Meeting Bob and Emily Cratchit's children. You know we've all been wondering for years what kind of offspring Kermit and Miss Piggy would produce...not quite the friglets I pictured after all. *shrug*

Elf

What's not to love about a giant-sized child who radiates exuberance and sheer joy at the thought of all things Christmas? Not even cynical New York City can knock the spirit out of Will Ferrell's Buddy the elf, and it's because of this that we continue to love him through the whole movie, even when he eats spaghetti with maple syrup.

Most Memorable Scene: Buddy's excitement when he discovers Santa will be arriving the next day.

A Christmas Story

Where to begin with this one? So much goodness in this horribly entertaining little guilty pleasure of a Christmas movie. All Ralphie wants for Christmas is "an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle". However, in the biggest conspiracy since Area 51, everyone in his life is against him, telling him that it's too dangerous and "you'll shoot your eye out". A visit to Santa in the local mall produces one of the most terrifying scenes in cinematic history, and frankly I am glad I didn't see this movie when I was a kid, because I would have developed a real hatred for all things red and white and jolly all over. The first-person narrator (adult Ralphie) adds a level of hilarity to this movie that has yet to find its equal.

Most Memorable Scene: There's almost too many to mention - the leg lamp, Randy's snowsuit, Christmas dinner at the Chinese restaurant - but one that definitely stands out is when Ralphie goes outside to shoot his new Red Ryder, and the first shot he takes ricochets back and smokes him in the face. The narrator's comment: "Oh my God, I shot my eye out!" Irony, you are a cruel mistress.

Scrooged

Ah, Bill Murray, how I do adore thee. This movie is, hands down, one of my favourite movies of all time. I can literally watch this movie every month of the year (and believe me, I have), because it is just beyond awesome. Bill stars as the Ebenezer Scrooge-esque character, Frank Cross. Frank is the youngest TV network president in history, and got there by being a complete and total jerk to everyone around him. It cost him his dignity, respect and more importantly, Claire. After visits from the usual ghosts, and one very painful incident involving a toaster, Frank discovers the true meaning of Christmas just in time to save himself and his relationship with Claire. This movie has Buster Poindexter (as the Ghost of Christmas Past), Karen Allen (remember her as Marion from Indiana Jones?)...and Lee Majors and Mary Lou Retton. God bless us everyone, indeed.

Most Memorable Scene: The entire segment involving the Ghost of Christmas Present. Carol Kane is a comedic genius.

So these are just the full-length features that I like to watch every year. I'm not even going to get into all the TV specials. That's for another posting...which will probably be the next time I'm snowed in for the weekend.