It's Not Me Talking

Want to experience life from a different perspective? Try laryngitis on for size.

As a professional communicator, I understand the true value of words, both written and spoken. And, as is often the case with communicators, I am better at one than the other. Fortunately, it's the writing that is my strong point, so one would think that laryngitis shouldn't affect me that much.

If only.

See, I may be a (pretty) good writer, but that doesn't help when a waiter asks me what I would like to order, or when my office phone rings and I kinda have to answer it. I can't exactly scribble something down on a chalkboard hanging around my neck, as cool as that would be.

It's really hard for me to not speak. It's not like everything I say has value, but damn it, I'm going to throw it out there anyway, just because I can. So, I have to rely on the kindness of others to get my message across, which has proven to be both good and bad.

For example, my darling gentleman friend has kindly acted as my interpreter on several occasions. He ordered my peppermint tea at the Tim Horton's drive-thru, which was super-nice.

On the flipside, he then told his coworker that I refused to let him buy a new TV for Christmas, no matter how much he asked. Might I add, we never had any such conversation about a TV, and he said this to his coworker in front of his adorable but mute girlfriend, who couldn't defend herself in the least.

He is a jackass, but I do still love him.

Boyfriends aside, I've discovered how much pity you get from others when you can't speak. Our waiter felt so bad that he gave us free chocolates with our lunch, which I will never turn down. And, every cashier I've come across has wished me to get well as I leave the store. I appreciate that, especially because when I'm sick, I tend to be worse than a dude for whining and sulking. I'll take the pity party no problem.

My new-found muteness has really shifted how I approach spoken communications. Because my voice is a precious commodity that I have to ration carefully, I've become more thoughtful about the words I do verbalize. What Twitter has done for the written word, so has laryngitis done for the verbal. I'm now thinking how I can get my message out in 140 characters or less.

Sadly, as a newbie, this means I do a lot of pointing, nodding, or shaking my head. But, I'm still working on it, and figure this can only help me be better at both my job and the relationships I have with the people in my life.

As long as those people don't keep selling me out for not permitting new TV purchases. Any more situations like that, and I may have to start using different hand gestures to get my point across.

And those won't be very polite.