You can say that you're sorry, but I don't believe you

I try to be a reasonable person. I really do. But sometimes, things get in the way of keeping me reasonable. And most often, those things are people.

Now, I know that I have a lot of quirks. And I mean a lot. I never claimed to be a quote-unquote "normal" person. I don't like people touching my stuff. My closet has to be arranged a certain way so I can find stuff. And I really cannot stand that furry little orange excuse for a child's toy (it's called a personal pronoun, you dimwit...look into it).

I know, I know...I hear you saying, "Those are all perfectly normal situations. Do tell, why do you think you have quirks?" Well, one of my biggest issues comes in the form of misuse of the English language.

That's right, kids, I'm talking about proper usage of the words your and you're.

Two words. Shouldn't be that freakin' difficult, right? Wrong.

Quite simply, here is the difference between the two words:

• Your is the possessive form of the word you and is used to assign ownership to something.
• You're is a contraction for you are. That means that you can take out the space and the letter "a" and replace them with an apostrophe and you will have a shorter version of you are.

Okay, now that we have the definitions down, let's review some examples:

Your language skills are quite appalling.

This is the correct version. Your is the subject to whom you are referring. Now, try to write that same sentence using the other spelling:

You're language skills are quite appalling.

Read it out loud as you are and see if it still makes sense. Does it? Does it really??? The correct answer is no.

Let's try another one:

Your going to fail the SATs if you can't tell the difference.

This should be read as "You are going to fail...", which is a true statement. You will fail. Therefore, for those of you at home keeping score, the correct word to use here is you're.

So next time someone sends you an e-mail to thank you for a job well done, think long and hard before you reply with "your welcome". Any respect you may have gained will be tossed right out the window...along with the welcome.